I CAN'T!
by Forsakenfaith
Summary: Kagome once again sees Inuyasha with Kikyou I know, I know. It's an old plot line, but it's good, i promise and she breaks down. She just can't handle it anymore. she just can't....


I do NOT own Inuyasha! But I do own the Mnt. Dew I'm drinking. Hmmmmm I'm hungry………

**I CAN'T!**

"Kikyou, I will always be here to protect you. I loved you…but…." Inuyasha said as he held Kikyou under the god tree, her soul collectors swarming around them letting off an eerie light in the star filled night. His arms raped tightly around her shoulders, and hers around his stomach.

"But what Inuyasha? You loved me right?" Kikyou said interrupting him and laying her head against his chest.

"Well, yes..but…"Inuyasha stumbled trying to say what was in his heart.

** Meanwhile, behind a tree a few feet away…. **

**_'Inuyasha…why? Why can't it be me? It's not fair! I hate Kikyou! I wish she were dead! You're mine Inuyasha! No……you're not are you? You never were. I can't have what was never mine, and that includes your heart. Kikyou was and is the one who will always hold it. She is the only one who you love. I was a fool to believe I stood even an ounce of a chance to be loved by you, by anyone. I'm sorry for not being good enough…I'm sorry.'_**Kagome thought as she gripped the bark of a large tree that hid her from site, but unfortunately not the others from her site. She slammed her eyes shut trying to hold in the tears that were overflowing from her heart and threaten to spill out. **_'I can't….I can't stay here.' _**She said turning slowly and taking a few steps. Her head still couldn't, wouldn't believe what she saw. She turned her head and looked at the site that had succeeded in ripping her hearts into pieces of bloody confetti. Her mind slowly processing the site sent a wave of pain to her heart. That was the last push her tears needed and they spilled out of her heart and down her porcelain cheeks. '**_shit!'_** she thought as she turned and quietly ran towards the well. She knew he'd smell her tears and come running to make sure his little shard detector stayed. **_'I bet he's planning to throw me down the well and seal it after we beat Naraku.'_** She thought as she saw the path to the well coming closer through her water flooded vision. .

** Meanwhile, back at the god tree…. **

"Well, yes..but…I don't anymore. I honestly don't. I'm sorry. I just can't deny what is in my heart. I know you don't care for me and use my own ignorance against me, but I can't pretend that I haven't realized it. We have been lying to each other since the day we met." Inuyasha said forcing out what his heart had needed to say. He gently pushes kikyou away from him and looking into her eyes. "I'm sorry…"

"Sorry! I died for you, because of you! And you say sorry!" Kikyou screamed as her eyes turned red.

"Kikyou, you can't say you honestly love me can you? I know I can't, not anymore. I love someone else, and I have been too blinded by our deceitfulness to realize it." Inuyasha said in a calm voice

Kikyou's eyes turned to normal and she almost looked hurt. "who?" She said in a quiet voice.

"I love…" Inuyasha looked up and sniffed. His head snapped towards the tree where Kagome once was hiding. "Kagome?...SHIT!" He yelled turning and running in the direction of her tears. He could tell by the smell that they were a bit old. '**_Shit! She probably left before I was done! SHIT, SHIT, SHIT! BAKA, BAKA, BAKA!' _**He yelled hitting his head with his hand while he ran after the girl he loved.

Kikyou watched as Inuyasha ran away from her. **_'I can't believe you'd choose my reincarnation over me! How dare you? She is nothing but a little bitch that was never meant to be here! She was not meant to live in this time!' _**"Heh. I'll fix that." She said with an evil smirk and turning and getting taken away by her soul collectors.

** With Inuyasha and Kagome… **

Inuyasha saw Kagome turn left onto the trail that led to the one thing that brought her to him and also could just as easily take her away. He could smell more and more fresh tears coming from her. '**_Kagome….I…I'm sorry. Kami, what have I done?_**' He thought to himself as he ran closer to her.

Kagome was about 15 feet away from her savoir when she heard a twig snap behind her. She turned around and saw none other then the hanyou that held her heart prisoner and tortured it for fun. **_'NO….no. I can't let him keep it anymore. I can't take the pain.'_** She thought as she turned back around and booked it to the well. Inuyasha saw this and jumped out in front of her. They were now only 7 feet away from the well. Kagome came to a skidding stop as to not hit the hanyou in front of her. She stopped and looked up at the man with teary eyes. **_'NO! I can't see him! It hurts too much!'_** She brought her head down and turned it away from him.

"Kagome, it's not what it lo…." Inuyasha started but got interrupted by the now seething miko in front of him.

"Not what Inuyasha? Not what it looked like? How many times has it been not what it looked like! HUH? Tell me that? How many times have you gone to see her and how many times have you said it wasn't what it looked like? 'Cause it sure didn't look like you were just having a conversation about the fucking weather!" Kagome yelled now looking the man she held pure hate for at the moment in the eyes.

Inuyasha stood there a little, hell a lot taken aback by her saying the word fuck. **_'That can't be good…._**' He thought. "Kagome just listen to me. You didn't stay long enough to hear what I said…"

"And why would I? I heard enough when you said you loved her, more then enough. What more do I need to know? Did you expect me to site there and watch you two tell each other how much you love one another? You wanted me to watch you while you gave your heart to someone other then myself, when you already held mine? Do you have any idea how much it hurts to see the one you love, love another? Yes that's right, I love you, Inuyasha, and it's the most painful thing I have ever felt." Kagome said looking down with new tears filling her eyes.

"Kago…Kagome. You don't understand it wasn't…" Inuyasha said looking at her sadly.

"NO! Inuyasha I understand. I UNDERSTAND PERFECTLY!" Kagome yelled. She took a breath and let out a small, sad, quiet laugh that carried only heartache in it. She spoke in a hollow voice only slightly above a whisper. You could still hear the pain perfectly fine though. "I understand. You love…..her. Not me. I understand it. I'm not even close to what Kikyou is. I can never even hope to become as great as her. I was so foolish. So dumb to believe I could ever win against her. Even if I do love you, there's nothing I can do about it." She said still looking down

Inuyasha was about to defend her from herself when what she had been saying for the last 5 minutes finally processed in his head.**_ 'She loves me?' _**"Kagome did you say you lo….loved me?" A hopeful hanyou asked.

Kagome looked up at him and gave a weak smile. "Yes I did, Inuyasha. I love you more then you could ever know, and that's the sad part. I wish I didn't. I wish I could just take my heart out and die. It hurts too much to love you, Inuyasha. It hurts so much."

Inuyasha looked Kagome in the eyes. He saw all the pain in them and felt his heart break a little. **_'How could I make her feel this way? How could I hurt her so? '_**

"Kagome, listen to me…." He got cut off yet again

"I…..I can't Inuyasha. I can't. It hurts too much."

"Kagome just relax and listen!" Inuyasha said in a bit of an irritated tone.

"RELAX? RELAX? I have held everything in for so fucking long Inuyasha! And I just can't anymore! I CAN'T! After every time I've seen you with her I push down my feelings and act as though everything's all fine! I always stuck by your side even though my heart was slowly being poisoned by the pain. I knew you weren't mine and I always wanted you to be! I ALWAYS stayed strong for the group and you. I always had a smile on my face even when I was screaming out of pain inside! I have tried SO hard to act as if I'm ok. I have tried SO hard to stay strong, but I just can't anymore. I'm not strong, and I can't pretend I am, not anymore. I love you but I can't be here. I can't look at your face knowing you're looking at another's! I JUST CAN'T!" Kagome yelled never taking her eyes off of him until she finally had a breakdown and fell to the ground in a heap of tears and sobs. "I can't take the pain anymore Inuyasha. I can't…..I can't be here with you anymore. I can't do a lot of things anymore. Heh. I hoped it was just my heart playing tricks on me when I saw you two, but when my mind finally processed the site I lost all my strength. The poison finally became to strong." She said as she looked towards the well, her eyes clouded over.

"Kagome. Kagome stop it! Stop doing this to yourself! You're hurting yourself even more!"

Kagome's tears stopped and she whipped them off with her sleeve. She slowly stood up and looked Inuyasha in the eyes with her blood shot eyes. "I am NOT the one who is hurting me Inuyasha. You did a pretty good job of that by yourself." She said in a clod and emotionless tone of voice.

"Kagome, I'm sorry. I know I hurt you, but you've got what you saw all wrong. You didn't hear what I was saying. I was just telling her that…"He once again got cut off.

"I KNOW! You were telling her that you loved her! I KNOW! I was watching you I know what you were sayi……" Kagome got cut off as Inuyasha grabbed her wrist and pulled her into a tight embrace. He wrapped his arms tightly around her shoulder and laid his head on her shoulder.

"NO! You don't know. I was telling her that I didn't love her. I was only giving her a Farwell hug. I was going to tell her that I loved someone else." He said while holding her tighter (a/n AHHHHH He's going to kill her. I can see it no. Kagome Higurashi dies by bear hug…..ok. Sry. I'm done now.)

She struggled against his grip. **_'NO! I can't let you do this to me. I can't! I'm at the end of my strength. I just can't…..'_** "No……..NO!" she started softly then screamed against him. She pushed with all her might and managed to slip away. She ducked out of his arms and took a few steps back while holding in her tears. "I can't let you in again Inuyasha. I won't let you fool me any longer. All of your lies have left too much unknown. My heart wants to let you in, it wants to believe what you say, but I don't. I don't want to be here anymore. I don't want to feel this hurt. The pain caused will leave scars that will haunt me of memories of you. I won't let you scar me any longer. I won't let you in! I WON'T!" Kagome yelled clenching her fists and looking into his eyes with unshed tears.

"Kagome………please believe me. I'm telling the truth. You have to trust me. You have to at least give me a chance.." Inuyasha said as he lifted his hand towards her.

"I already have. I've giving you too many chances. I chanced my heart over you so many times and now there's nothing left to be able to chance. I can't love you Inuyasha, I can't even hate you. I don't feel anything. I am just simply here. I can't trust you. I can't believe you. I can't, and I won't. You have to understand. I….I loved you so much and all it ever did was cause me pain. I can't just go back to that. I have been forsaken too many times for that. Under these scars you've caused, 'I've been stabbed to deep. There's no point in pulling out the blade now and stabbing me again, it's sure to kill me slowly already." (MY WORDS FROM MY POEM! PLEASE DO NOT COPY WITHOUT GIVING CREDIT :D) She said looking into his eyes with empty ones. There were no more tears, no more anything. Her eyes were ones that could put the ice prince's to shame. (Sesshomaru)

"Kagome. I never meant to…." He was cut off

"Never meant to what? Never meant to make me cry? When you watched me do it so many times and knew what it was because of! And you never even bothered to try and change! You never meant to take my heart and turn it into an icicle then watch as you dropped it and it shattered? What didn't you mean to do Inuyasha? HUH? WHAT?" Kagome yelled taking a step towards him

Inuyasha grabbed her wrist once again and tugged her towards him. He held onto her as if she was his world, and she was. "Kagome, I never meant to do any of it. I…" he was cut off by and angry and close to hysterical Kagome.

"LET ME GO! I DON'T WANT TO HEAR YOUR LIES YOU SON OF A BITCH! FUCKING DOG! LET ME GO YOU…."

"NOW YOU LISTEN HERE WENCH! I WILL NOT HAVE YOU SAYING THESE THINGS! I am a son of a bitch, and I am a dog, and I'm pretty sure I am whatever it was you were going to call me next, but I did NOT mean to hurt you! I was so fucking dumb! I kept telling myself lies and I didn't notice how they affected you. I was trying to sort out what I felt. I'm so sorry I did this to you. I wish I could take it back. I wish I could heal your wounds that I caused. I wish I could do so much, but I can't. I want you to know that I don't love Kikyou. I don't love her at all. I don't even think I ever did. Not compared to what I feel for you. I know I can't take back what has been done; all I can do is tell you how much I love you and stay here and hold you. That's all I can do. Please don't leave. I know I don't disserve you, but please don't leave. I love you too much for you to be gone! Hell, I can't even stand you being in a different room then me. I want to be by your side forever. I want to always make sure you never feel this kind of pain again. I can promise you I'll never hurt you again. NEVER! Just…..please……please don't leave me." Inuyasha said as he held a now seemingly lifeless body in his arms, tears threatening to break through his high and thick walls of hiding.

"Inuyasha let go." Kagome said in a low whisper. She couldn't believe what she had just heard. He said he loved her and not Kikyou!

"NO! I'm not letting go!" Inuyasha said scared that if he let go his world would leave him to die.

"LET GO!" Kagome yelled. She needed to see him. She thought she felt it, but she needed to know if it was real or not.

Inuyasha slowly let go but kept his hands tightly on her shoulders. He turned his head to the side and looked away. Kagome pushed herself from his chest and stepped back as far as his arm would allow. She looked at his face and his bangs covered his eyes. "Inuyasha, look at me. Please." She said in a whisper

He slowly turned his head towards her, but still kept is head down, his bangs covering his eyes still.

Kagome had enough of this and grabbed his chin and pulled his face up. She let out a gasp at what she saw. She was right. There Inuyasha stood, her big, strong, hanyou protector crying. He was crying because of her. She felt a ping in her heart and lunged into him. She wrapped her arms tight around his waist and rested her head on his strong chest. "Don't Inuyasha. Don't cry because of me."

"Then don't leave me Kagome. I can't stand the thought of you leaving me. Please don't go." He said wrapping his arms around her and burring his head in her shoulder.

"I wish I could leave you…" she started as she felt him tense up. "But, I love you way to damn much to. Did you really mean what you said? Cause if you didn't, I don't think I could handle it." She said squeezing tighter.

"I meant every single word of it. I love you so much Kagome. Don't you ever doubt that! I may act dumb and stupid, but don't you EVER think I don't love you." He said looking down at her. "I really am sorry for hurting you like this Kagome. I really didn't think about what I was doing. I'm sorry."

Kagome looked up at him and saw a few streaks of tears running down his cheeks and the still unshed ones in his eyes. She smiled warmly at him and reached her hand up and whipped away his tears, while never loosing eye contact with him. He reached his hand and did the same for her. When hers were gone her put his hand over hers that was still on his cheek. He smiled and tilted his head towards it and kissed it. Kagome giggled. Before she had a chance to let out another giggle Inuyasha pulled her hand, forcing Kagome to be pulled up to him and kissed her passionately on the lips. The kiss grew deeper and deeper. Soon they had to break for breath.

"I love you Kagome." Inuyasha said as he hugged her close

"I love you Inuyasha." Kagome said as she hugged him back.

After about and hour of just holding each other while breathing in the comforting smell of one another, Inuyasha worked up the courage to ask her the biggest question of his life. (Are you making Ramen for super? Lmao! Jk)

"Kagome?" He studdered

"Hmmm?"

"Well, I love you and you love me right?"

"Hmmhmm." She answered

"Well, I want to always be with you."

"Me too Inuyasha."

"Good. SO, do you want to be my mate then, Kagome?"

Kagome looked him in the eyes and smiled big. She leaned up and pulled him into the thousandth kiss that night. She pulled away and said. "OF COURSE! Nothing would make me happier. I love you."

"I love you too." He said with a big smile. They stayed there together until they stated to become numb; even then they stayed holding each other another hour or two after that. They both were looking forward to the day when they would finally be bound by their souls and bodies. They couldn't wait, for more then one reason.

**SOOOOO! What did you think? Please review and tell me weather you want me to do a sequel with a lemon for this or not. Well, thanks! Byes! Oh and I'll update my other story soon…….sometime anyway, lol. Sry. I really will get to it though. BYES! OH! And please don't take my wording and stuff out of here because a lot of it was from my poems that I worked really hard on. If you do please give credit. My friend said it was dumb to say that, but I just don't want someone using what I worked hard on and me not getting any credit for it. Is that selfish?**

**-Forsaken Faith**


End file.
